Lazy Brain Syndrome

A few days before Thanksgiving, I was ‘encouraged’ by Sandy to go to Wal-Mart to pick up a few food items she needed for baking.   A man’s work is never done . . .  (Just got myself in trouble :)

Anyway, as I was waiting in line at the checkout counter, I overheard (eavesdropped) on a conversation between the cashier and the lady checking out in front of me.

The cashier proceeded to tell the lady how she had ruined her life by making “poor” decisions.

“I had my babies too young.  The first one when I was 19 and the next when I was 20.  I love em, but they take so much time.”

“I eat too much and I’m fat.  I need to start exercising but I don’t have time.”

“And I never got much schoolin.  So I got to work here.” 

Then, the lady in front of me proceeded to tell the cashier about several of her not-so-intelligent decisions, seemingly trying to out do her.

I drifted off.

Oh Lord, please let me get out of Wal-Mart . . .

 It got me thinking though . . .

The quality of our lives are really determined by just a small handful of pretty important decisions:

  1. Am I going to marry, and if so, to whom?
  2. How much education is enough?
  3. What level of income do I choose to get to?
  4. What do I want to do for a career?
  5. How many kids do I want, and when will I start having them?
  6. What level of fitness and health, will be my baseline?
  7. Am I going to work for someone else, or start my own company?
  8. What types of people do I want to be friends with?
  9. What part of the country do I really want to live in?
  10. How much of my life will I give to God?

The answers to these questions have huge impacts.  But most people don’t put much thought into them.

Because they don’t, they suffer.   And they experience what is now known at (as of this writing),

“Lazy Brain Syndrome, or LBS.”

“LBS” is defined in the Urban Dictionary as,

“Of or referring to a person who, if they wanted to, could summon up the mental capacity to think properly, but won’t even try.”

 It’s hideous.  It’s debilitating.  It’s hard to look at.  It doesn’t discriminate on age, sex, or national origin.  And it’s becoming an epidemic.

But it’s curable–though we’re running out of time . . .

So, won’t you help? Will you be an angel for those who suffer?

Let’s fight LBS together.

Make your checks out to Robert Mallon and send them today to:

P.O. Box 1620

Gainesville, GA 30503

Make sure and send them before Christmas.  At least a week!  I’ll make sure that the funds make it to the proper checking account . . . Umm, I mean—location!

Hurry! Don’t delay . . .

Time is running out!

Send your’s now!

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author, and do not reflect in any way the opinions of any sane or lucid person.  They were developed on a day when the author could think of nothing serious to say.  Any criticisms should be sent to the Director of our Complaint Department—Helen Wait.  Just go to Helen Wait! 


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  1. Matt Fagioli
    Matt Fagioli12-05-2011

    I want to support LBS. My check is ‘in the mail’ :)

    • Robert Mallon
      Robert Mallon12-05-2011

      Hope you sent it “Express Mail”… They need it desperately!

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